Like the previous book Unequal Sisters mentioned on the previous page; Colonize This! Young Women of Color on Today's Feminism is a collection of essays written from different decades. This book is more than a required textbook, I highly recommend reading this book to gain knowledge of what feminism means to different women of color. Listed below are my journal entries on the essays we have covered for class.

Colonize This!

            Cristina Tzintzun writes about how her parents met; while her mother was working in Mexico, a man came into the store to talk to her; he then said that she was going to go to his apartment. Tzintzun’s mother feared that she was being kidnapped, which has never been an unrealistic thought in Mexico. Her mother went to the apartment and felt uncomfortable, but despite her feeling, the man showed up many times at the store. Tzintzun’s parents got married two years later, after Tzintzun’s mother gave birth to her first child (a daughter), her parents stayed in Mexico, but moved to the United States after a year. Tzintzun’s father is a white man whom she describes as a “wolf in sheep’s clothing” (19). Tzintzun explains that her father would tell her that no man should ever disrespect her and she should never submit to any man (Sheep). Her father would then disrespect his own wife (Tzintzun’s mother), beat, rape, and cheat on her. He would tell his friends that they should marry a nice Mexican woman, so that she could take care of you (wolf).

            I really enjoyed this article, because like Tzintzun, I too am Hispanic, white, and Indian blooded. When people look at me, they say that I am white, because I have pale skin. Some people say when they look at me that even though I am pale, they can still tell I am Hispanic because of my hair and my honey brown eyes and that I am short. I can relate to Tzintzun and her relationship with her father, my father used to lie and cheat on my mother. My father liked that my mother a Hispanic woman was so well-serving to him, what my father would forget that he too is Hispanic but felt he was white. When my mother would receive her check from work, she would stash money away so that she could take my brother and me out for McDonald’s and to the dollar movies, without my father knowing (just like Tzintzun). My father would always put me down, telling me to marry a rich man, because I would never be able to find a good job because I am a girl. I was 15 years old when he told me this that statement stuck with me for many years; I couldn’t believe my own father would tell me something like that. After the weekend with my father I would return home to see my mother working hard at her job, cleaning the house, and making sure my brother and I had everything we needed. I have always respected my mother, she is the strongest person I know and has helped me become the person that I am today. My mother married my step-father (a white man) who I call “dad”, he taught me what to look for in a man and how a man should treat me and vice-versa. As for my father, I have cut off contact with him after he did not visit me at the hospital after the birth of my daughter. Never once has my father helped me with anything, car, school, nothing. My mother and step-father did everything for me and still help out to this day. One day soon, I would like to contact my father and tell him everything that has been on my mind for that past 25 years. I think that it is important for young children to have someone to look up to and for me that person was and is my mother, my best friend.

What Happens When Your Hood Is the Last Stop on the White Flight Express?

Taigi Smith talks about her old neighborhood where mostly single mother’s, working class, and immigrants of color lived in the 1980’s. Smith’s neighborhood was a close knit neighborhood with Carnaval type block parties like that of Rio De Jinerio, Brazil. Though families in this neighborhood were struggling to make ends meet, the neighborhood bonded and would forget about their troubles. Smith then talks about how the neighborhood of color was taken over by white yuppies, moving family’s mostly single mothers with children out on the streets. Tearing down houses and putting up pricey lofts and apartments, turning hole-in-the-wall bars into upscale bars. Smith talks about her time in college and how she felt out of place and found comfort in her African American Women’s Studies class, taught by the only full-time black woman at the college. Even in her women’s organization club, she did not connect with her fellow white comrades; the white females placed all “black problems” as “class problem”. As Smith returns to her old neighborhood, now a predominately rich white neighborhood, she now feels out of place. Receiving cold stares from white people, looking at her like she didn’t belong there; even though, she was a college graduate, and working as a writer and a TV producer.

            I really enjoyed this article; this reminds me of an old friend of mine who said she felt out of place at work. I remember one time, when we were a shift at Sears, a white woman said that she would wait for me to be done with my transaction, because she did not like the way my friend look. I talked to her about when we went out to lunch; I told her that I was sorry, she told me that even though it bothered her that she was used to it. I think about that day from time to time, and it still bothers me, my friend is now is pursuing her Master’s in communication. She told me that everything that happens to her makes her work harder to achieve goals and to remind herself she is not a small black woman, but a powerful black woman with ambition.        

CT- Love Feminism but Where’s My Hip Hop?: Shaping a Black Feminist Identity

          Gwendolyn D. Pough who was born in 1970 and grew up listening to 80’s hip hop music, a world dominated by and still remains to this day ruled by male rappers. Though there have been quite a few empowering female rappers throughout the 80’s and 90’s, we have seen the music industry take a turn for the worse. Pough describes how hip hop has turned into a world of fancy cars, money, and sex. Pough also talks about how the word “love” is usually missing from rap lyrics. With many black feminist women are ready to raise the issue against sexism and racism, but men are always ready for the counterattack to bring down the power of black feminist. Although I am not a huge fan of hip hop, I really love Lauren Hill (who in my opinion was/is the last black feminist in hip hop), today’s hip music is all about sex, drugs, stealing someone else’s man, and payback. Music is an art and should be used a tool to give rise to issues such as sexism and racism, but in this day in age it is not what sells. I wish more artist and hip hop groups like TLC, Salt-n-Pepper, and Lauren Hill would emerge and rise up and conquer the hip hop scene.  

In Praise of Difficult Chicas

            Adriana Lopez writes about her mother, aunt, and grandmother and how each generation of women in her life helped her see a new kind of feminism into her own life. Her aunt Esther was married at the age of fourteen, a year after Esther’s marriage she left her husband because divorce was unheard of at this time. Property was given to females during the 1950’s but since she could not afford the land she made the house into a brothel. Lopez explains that even though her aunt was different from the rest of her family because of her free lifestyle, Esther lived her life to live. Lopez explains that even though her aunt Esther was a promiscuous woman, Lopez found feminity from her story. As stated before Lopez talks about her mother, aunt, and grandmother I don’t want to go fully in-depth about this article because then this would be a paper. I will say this; I don’t think any family should hide secrets of family members. Those family members with a past are usually the one’s you actually learn something from, both good and bad.    

Dutiful Hijas: Dependency, Power and Guilt

Erica Martinez starts off by saying being dutiful started way before her, her mother, and grandmother were born. Women were to be servants to their parents until she got married and then would be submissive to her husband. For women having a career and being independent was frowned upon and pretty much forbidden. If there is a male in the family, he was not obligated to the same hardships as daughters of the family. Martinez lists a few of the ten commandments of marianismo listed in the Maria Paradox “Do not forget a woman’s place. Do not be single, self-supporting, or independent-minded. Do not put your own needs first. Do not wish for more in life than being a housewife” (145). Although there are many families that still live by this kind of mentality, but what happens when the male of the house dies or parents get divorced? Erica and her sister went through this, their parents divorced after 26 years; their mother did not know how to be independent. Martinez’s parents encouraged her and her sister to get an education; this does wonders for a woman’s mind. I say it does wonders for a woman’s mind because in a University setting, we are exposed to so many new ideas, for many it is a liberating experience. It is important for a woman to be independent and have a mind of her own; one should never feel embarrassed or guilty for having a voice. We need to remember that a woman can be independent but also have a marriage as well as supporting her family; it doesn’t have to be one or the other. My mother has always encouraged me to get an education and be the best woman I can be, and now I am a wife, mother, student, and VERY soon a career woman. I will always support my parents and my family, this will never change.

Femme-Inism: Lessons of My Mother

Paula Austin states that she learned everything about “feminism” from her mother; to Austin her mother was a strong black woman very comfortable with her sexuality. Austin’s mother quit her education status at 6th grade, couldn’t keep a job, and by the time she was sixteen she had two nervous breakdowns and had been raped by a friend of the family. Austin’s mother learned how to do hair and began her career in sex work. Austin’s mother did what she needed to do to get what she wanted and to feed her children, she was in control of her body and her life. Austin herself felt unattractive and did not feel comfortable in her own skin; this was until she started stealing her mother’s makeup. When Austin would rush to put on her stolen makeup; even though her makeup was a mess, Austin still felt this sense of power and confidence. Even though Austin’s mother quit school at such a young age, she encouraged her daughters to get their education. My favorite part of this essay (and still holds true to this day, which is very disheartening) was when Austin’s mother told her “You have two things against you: you’re Black and you’re a woman. Nothing is going to be easy” (163). I think we all go through this sense of not feeling comfortable in our own skin, especially in our teenage years. I have always counted on my mother’s advice; even though, I seldom took her advice (and really I should’ve), I still always appreciated it. Like me, there are many young women who look up to their mother, our mother’s show us what it means to be a woman. I like this section of the text, because it is about mother’s who did everything they could to support their family and usually without a father present.

Feminist Musing on the No. 3 Train

            Lourdes-Marie Prophete and her family came to New York from Haiti, after Prophete was born her father had left the family and went back to Haiti. Examining her life on the train back from a visit at her mother’s house; she reflects on how her attitude on feminism came to be. Prophete was known to rebel against certain issues that were addressed when it came to finding a husband and how she was to submit to him. Men were to work and the women were to clean, cook and attend to the husband’s needs, this was the type of information that was imbedded into her mind on how life should be. At the same time Prophete’s mother and aunt encouraged her to get a higher education; this is why her mother taught her to read before the first grade. I believe that everything our parents went through is stepping stones into learning what you want and what you don’t want. My mother was the type of person that was raised to be smaller than her husband; my mother did not like that. Like Prophete, my mother rebelled against this knowledge bestowed upon her by my grandmother.

My mother has been working since she was 16 years old, now at 62 years of age, she still continues to work. After my father left when I was 3 years old, my mother had to become both the mother and the father. Now that I am 30 years old, a wife, and a mother, there are certain things that happened to my mother that I don’t want to happen to me. Marriage is not a guarantee that the marriage and love between two people will work out. I believe it all depends on the person, some people refuse to ever get married to have career success, and there are other people who have wanted to get married all their lives. Then there is people like me who want both, I still believe that a marriage can last through the ups and downs, it is the couple within the marriage that have the ability not to become another statistic. We all want happiness, but it takes A LOT of effort to find happiness in little and big ways.

“Because You’re a Girl”

Ijeoma A. a native from Lagos, Nigeria was excited about watching the African World Cup. In Ijeoma’s community soccer was a way of life, “tonight’s game was going to be watched by everybody who was anybody that knew somebody (215). She and her brothers were sitting in the living room ready to watch the game; when Ijeoma’s mother came into the room and asked her “Ijeoma, when exactly did you intend to clean up?” (215). wanting to watch the game instead of cleaning up after 10 family members, she asked if one of the boys could help her clean the kitchen; “Ije, you’re a girl and we’re raising you to become a woman someday” (215). In Ijeoma’s house, she was to clean and cook after her parents and brothers without question.  Ijeoma would sometimes she would wake up to be a boy, so that she could have a day off and enjoy breakfast being served to her. Ijeoma’s father talked to her about attending college in America, but she had to achieve academic success at her school. This prompted Ijeoma to work hard in her academics; she succeeded and moved to the United States to attend college. Here she experienced what it was like to independent and in control of her own life. She did not have to clean up after anyone and she did not have to be married. Though her life in the U.S. gave her independence she found it hard to find balance when she returned home giving her family her new found feminist ways.

When I first started college I met a girl who was from Kenya, one day she walked into my dorm room and saw that my room was pretty messy. Like Ijeoma and her roommate, I had told this person that I have always been a messy person; she was surprised that I was like that. She asked me if my parents had a problem with me being messy, I told her of course, they would always get mad at me, but I was still a messy person. She told me about her life with her family and explained to me that everything had to be in order; she had to have her room clean, no exceptions. I think we forget that our way of living is not like that of individuals from other countries, until we actually talk to them. We must never forget our upbringing, and though we (most) all grow up to be independent; we have to remember to balance our way of living in independence as well as at your family home.   

Bring Us Back Into the Dance

            Kahente Horn-Miller’s story begins in 1997, when a young woman of her community attempted suicide. The community began conjuring up a plan to help the community fighting psychological problems; such as, drug and alcohol abuse. A Wasase dance means a renewal dance; this power dance is usually performed by males while the women stand on the sidelines supporting the men. When Miller’s community came together to come up with a plan to fight against drug and alcohol abuse, some of the young women felt that this was their fight to join in. The Wasase dance is a powerful dance in the sense that there is a lot of movement and shouting with instruments. When one of the dancers bangs the cane on the ground, the dancers stop and listen to what is being said by the one who stops the dance. After the speaker is done talking, the group starts shouting in excitement and the dancing continues. What I like about the concept of the Wasase dance is how powerful and moving this can be as a whole; it is definitely a unity type dance for the community. I, like Miller am not a feminist, but I do question everything and have my own opinions. I always voice my opinions and hope that voice is loud enough to be heard! When we are fighting for a cause it is important for everyone to join together not just one gender due to traditions, we are all a part of the solutions to the problems.

Ladies Only

            Tanmeet Sethi’s parents were part of an arranged marriage from India, a three-day engagement and three-day wedding. Sethi’s mother was now in the United States for the first time with no friends or family around to talk and support her. I can’t imagine what this might feel like to be brought to a foreign place with no one I know around me. Sethi’s mother is wise to know that home is wherever you are, and she made her living with her husband. What bothers me about Sethi’s story at the beginning is when she talks about how customers at Baskin-Robbins would speak to her mother; as if she could not understand what the customer was saying. An India accent is quite hard to understand, but I find it rude when I see someone give an Indian person dirty looks because of the way the person looks. I am always surprised by how younger generations of a conservative cultural break away from the norms of traditions; although most parents would like to select their daughter’s or son’s partners. A young Indian person may seek their own partners and that is what Sethi did; she found her partner and now getting married she still hold the tradition of an Indian wedding.

Sethi never tells people what she actually does for work; she just says she works in a hospital. Western cultures think she is a nurse, because that’s what “girls” do; Indian men this she is doctor “because that is what her parents pushed on her”. To Sethi, she is an Indian woman, who is a doctor and chose to be a doctor. Sethi traveled to Punjabi on a medical assignment, to provide HIV awareness and prevention for women who work in the red-light district. Sethi talks to the women of the red-light district, the women were elated to talk about why they were there. All were there to escape from their previous homes, due to abuse by husbands for not giving birth to a son; as well as, their skin being too dark. One woman, who is pregnant and wonders if she will have another girl, already having three daughters. The woman’s husband is in the delivery room with her, but is not comforting her during her time of confusion and pain of childbirth. Even though, the couple was hoping for a son, a beautiful and healthy Indian girl was born and the parents could not be happier about it. Any woman of color must remember that, she is a strong and beautiful person who can make it in the world, no matter what is expected or presumed by other people. Sethi understands this concept in this article and knows that she is not just a woman of color, but a woman who can do whatever she sets her mind to.

Lost in Indophile Translation: A Validation of My Experience

Bhavana Mody is an Indian-American woman who grew up in Kentucky, as she sits with family members listening to a friend (white male) about his recent travels to India. What really set off Mody was when she was asked by her white male friend if she knew what her name meant. Mody’s response was this “Yeah, it means like dream or something, I think” (269). Just as she was feeling like she had the floor to talk, she was interrupted by the friend; his response was “Your name means ‘MED-I-TA-TION” (270) as if the group of Indian men and women were hard of hearing or had never heard the word meditation before. Mody is not your average Indian-American young woman, she does not practice the traditions of India. Mody talks about how she doesn’t know all the Hindu goddesses, doesn’t meditate, or attend Bodhgaya. Mody started to feel out of place, like she always did; but then she started questioning what she really knew about her culture. What Mody started to realize was that these white males who traveled to India, only wanted to experience what they thought India was like.

            What I got from this article was that the white males who traveled to India thought that all of India was poor, got henna tattoo’s, went to yoga, and shopped for a traditional sari’s. As if all people from India were poor, wore henna tattoos all the time, did yoga, and meditated every day. Though it is great that people want to experience different cultures it is not enough to experience just pre-meditated thoughts of country. My favorite part is the end of the article when she tells her mother about her experience from the previous night. Mody asks her mother that if her name means dream, her mother responded yes it does, but it also means many things. Mody’s mother gives her hope when she says that it is very difficult to translate to English.

It’s Not an Oxymoron: the Search for an Arab Feminism

            Susan Muaddi Darraj describes her father as feminist; he taught Darraj how to find her own identity in feminism rather than what Western-culture showed her. While attending college, Darraj discovered that she did not relate to the way of white-feminism, because she was of a different culture. All too often she was bombarded with questions like would she have to partake in an arranged marriage, and will your husband have various wives. Darraj touches on the subject of Arabic marriages and describes step by step what happens when the potential groom proposes. Darraj talks about how white Western feminism is not like that of her own, almost like she is being typecast for who she is. Darraj’s friends in America have a preconceived notion that now she is getting married it will consist of popping out babies, cleaning, cooking, and watching soap operas on her down time. For Darraj being a feminist meant that she did not have to follow in the footsteps of being independent, never getting married, or having children. Darraj realized that she could be a feminist and have a husband as well as children, while still being successful.

            I too feel like Darraj in the sense that I consider myself a feminist in the way that I can have a successful career, but also have a family. All too often when I talk to women younger than me, who have this radical feminist point of view saying that there is no way I could be a feminist and be married with children. What doesn’t click in their mind is that I am a wife, a mother, and a feminist; however, I don’t express myself like the younger generation. The important message for me from this article is that we all need to find our own version of being a feminist. You don’t have to subscribe to one form of feminism, in order to feel pride and powerful is to find feminism your way. We have to realize that we are not the only country and that there are many cultures out in the world who are feminist and not just women. We come across people who change our way of thinking and this pushes us to reevaluate what we think we know to be true. I believe in order to understand a culture different from ours; we first must understand what the person’s culture means. What are the traditions, how do people of that particular culture go about things, etc. We will never know unless we ask a person from a particular culture or read about their culture. It is one thing to have ideas of how things are in other countries, but an entirely different thing to understand different cultures and what being a feminist or a woman of color means to them.